The Tragic Fate
I lost my world today
To the planes when they flew over head
To the ‘S’ shaped rifle
And to the rolling tanks that aimed – BOOM
I lost my world today
When the water drowned the trenches
When diseases hit the healthy
When landmines blew apart geography
I lost my world today
To the Allies
To the Central Powers
To the countries who signed to support
I lost my world today
To a decision made by 6 men
Whose decision became the tragic fate
Of my world,
My father
Thursday, January 22, 2009
THE TRAGIC FATE
Posted by Aysha at 11:29 PM
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2 comments:
Hey aysha
I love how you spoke about the allies. And how many people were in the agreement and the weapons they used. It was quite an interesting piece, really enjoyed reading it. But I think you could have showed more than told the story. Because in a lot of the main parts you stated what happened.
I think you did a great job, especially the way you show how bad and harsh things were out there. You seemed to have really thought this through, since you used a lot of the poetic skills we discussed in class, like. There is nothing bad about your poem but to improve it you could try and mention something about No mans land and how many died instantly. Overall I think you wrote a great poem.
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